My Light
by Yeppeun
Summary: The race for a new base begins for Rey and whats left of the Resitance. Kylo struggles to commit to his role as he is conflicted on his place in their story. Both force users stand alone and yearn for the other willing or not. They are the only ones that can truly understand each other, but how far will that go? (Kylo RenxRey) REYLO
1. Silence

**(A/N hey guys I hope you enjoy this story! I will be delving into the relationship kylo and rey have plus have some spicy moments if you catch my drift. I've been wanting to see kylo and rey have more moments where they talk and just try and figure everything out while maintaining an enenmy standpoint and live in their polar opposite worlds. But you have been warned that this may get perverted so if youre into that, stick around and I will get this going. Enjoy!)**

* * *

Despite being surrounded by people who were friends and allies, Rey felt as if there was a hole in her chest. She sat in the millennium falcon, staring aimlessly with her broken saber in her hands. The crystal inside was shattered now in pieces, rendered unusable. She couldnt even feel the light pulse of her heart beat in her arm from the wound anymore. Everything was numb and almost a blur. There was no plan now, nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Nothing.

"Rey?" A voice called out to her, a hand lightly touching her own. She jumped ot see Leia there, looking to her with soft eyes.

"I-I'm sorry General. I was….distracted," Rey said sighing shakily.

"It's alright. I didn't want to startle you. You just seemed…distant."

"I'm sorry. After all of this, I just needed to think."

"I understand. You have people here that can and will listen to you Rey. I can't imagine what you're going through but I can try if you let us in."

"Thank you general."

"Leia, just Leia."

"O-okay. I'm going to go to try and figure out where we can go next. We can't fly through the galaxy forever."

"You're right. For now we will tend to our injured and see if we have any allies left. You should also have someone look at your arm."

Rey nodded to her before getting up and walking to the cockpit. Chewie wasn't there, staying out in the main hold to mingle and reunite with everyone. She went inside and made sure to lock the door before flopping down in the pilot's seat. The stars were rushing past them as the ship aimlessly flew through unknown regions of the galaxy. She put her broken saber to the side and held her head in her hands. Helplessness was the only thing she could feel.

* * *

The chaos amongst the empire was vast. The supremacy was deemed unusable and abandoned, now in pieces. As the process to get a new ship built was underway, Kylo resided in a designated area for the supreme leader. It was similar to the throne room, praetorian guards everywhere with an elaborate chair in the middle of the room. The size difference was obvious, this room being much smaller. Kylo sat at the throne, taking the new role of Supreme Leader. As the only force user in the empire's high ranked officers, no one argued against it. Hux secretly cursed himself, wishing he had taken the shot that night in the throne room. He could have been the next supreme leader, not this brat who can throw him across the room with a flick of the wrist. Kylo on the other hand regretted nominating himself. He was now the face of the empire, the leader and now sworn enemy to the resistance, to Rey. The fact alone made his chest heave with guilt, regret, and self hatred. Nothing new to him though. He was always filled with these emotions, hating himself as he should. But, when he's with Rey everything seems to fade and disappear. She didn't make him feel guilty or hateful, she made him feel included. Rey made him feel like his conflict was okay and she'd be there to help him. But, when he offered her a choice she rather fight him instead. What about that last force bond? She looked to him with a look of…..assurance. Like she knew how everything would go in the end. It was just a matter of time and she was willing to wait. She closed the door on him and left leaving Crait and him behind.

"Supreme Leader!" a high pitched voice screeched making kylo snap out of his thoughts.

"What," Kylo demanded looking down to Hux annoyed.

"If you were listening, you would know that according to the plans for the new ship will take a month at least. The size of the ship is so vast that we can't rush it. We must use the dreadnoughts for now."

"Fine. Any news on where the resistance is?"

"No. They jumped to hyperspace and the tracker was destroyed. So, finding them will be more tedious. We do have ships looking for them everywhere though."

"Good. I want them found. But, do not destroy the ship. I want them alive and brought before me."

Hux raised his eyebrow in confusion. Why wouldn't he want the ship blown to smithereens? The last of the resistance is on that ship. If thy destroyed it their troubles would be gone. So why is he protecting it in a way?

"I must say Supreme Leader. The fact that force using girl didn't kill you is remarkable. What happened in the throne room exactly?"

"I've told you already. She killed the supreme leader and the guards. Before I could fight her she knocked me out."

"Impressive for someone who is very new to her powers as I heard. The praetorian are trained experts at their craft. It'd take at least five normal people to take down the amount of guards that were in that room."

"What are you implying general?"

"I'm just saying how she must be so experienced to beat all of them and not finish you off as well."

Kylo's brow lowered and his hand twitched wanting to force choke him, but he restrained himself.

"She probably didn't have the chance to do it since the ship was attacked because someone was incompetent enough to not anticipate the Resistance's last attack," Kylo hissed an obvious dig to Hux.

"Yes, unfortunate. We will see how strong she is once we face her and whats left of the Resistance again."

"We shall. Now, if you don't mind I will retire to my quarters for the night. Do not disturb me unless it is necessary."

He stood up from his throne. walking out of the room. Hux chewed on his lip as he watched his supreme leader slip out like a killer in the night. He knew something wasn't right and he was going to find out what it was.

Kylo walked the halls of the dreadnought, stormtroopers in passing nodding their head to him out of respect. He didn't even look to them though, keeping his gaze ahead of him as he walked to his room. Once inside he locked the doors and sighed heavily with a shiver running up his spine. He set his weapons on their respected stands, keeping his lightsaber on a night stand. It was out of habit that he kept it so close now. Maybe the trauma from that night with Luke Skywalker stuck with him more than he dared to realize. But this is how he's always felt, alone and like the world was against him.

* * *

Rey finished walking around the millennium falcon, making sure everyone had more or less settled in. She had't even gotten the chance to speak to Finn because he was caring for Rose so much. He stayed in the crew's quarters by her side with what was left of the medical crew. Chewie wanted to stay in the cockpit with Rey but she assured him that she'd be fine alone. Unwillingly, he agreed and stayed outside for the rest of the night. As Rey sat back down in the pilot's seat, she pressed a cloth to her arm. Her wound had stopped bleeding but she couldn't leave it exposed. She hissed in pain as she could feel whatever the med crew put on the cloth seeped into it. As she put the cloth down she noticed her hearing cut out.

Despite being in a moderately quiet room, the hum of the ship began to fade and Kylo could hear a ringing sound. He went into his restroom and splashed water on his face, trying to snap out of what he knew it was. When he turned to look back into his room, he didn't see it anymore. Now he was in a different ship, his father's ship. He was staring toward the last face he saw on Crait.

 ** _"Rey."_**

Silence. Rey knew exactly what was going on and she refused to be apart of it. She kept her eyes ahead, looking at the quickly passing stars. Anything would be better than looking at _him._ Kylo could tell she was intentionally ignoring him, looking farther away.

 _ **"I could sense the death of Luke Skywalker. I did not kill him so if you think that…..But you probably know how he died already. You're smart, you...you're worthy to be called enemy."**_

Rey twitched at the word. _Enemy_. It didn't sit right with her after everything they've been through. They took down the supreme leder together, but shes the enemy. Rey kept her gaze away from Kylo and tried to block him out till the force bond faded as it always did.

 ** _"I still don't understand this. Snoke claimed he created it, but here we are. I cannot force this as I know you can't either."_**

Rey looked to him annoyed and angry. She just wanted to be alone but he was there blabbering to her. As she tried to tone him out, Kylo noticed the wound on her arm. It was strange, their bond was so strong that he knew she was hurt doing the fight in the throne room. But, he never truly got to look at it. The shape itself intrigued him, looking obscure and jagged. It would be difficult for the praetorian gaurds to make a wound like that, their weapons being deadly sharp creating clean cuts. As he looked closer, it looked like a particular shape, like two hands reaching out to each other. Rey could see Kylo getting closer from her periferal vision, confused on why he was staring and almost lurking towards her.

 ** _"You don't need to be afraid, we are the same,"_** Kylo said softly as he moved closer to her. He lightly reached out and touched her arm, his gloved hand grazing her skin.

She quicickly slapped his hand away and tried to push him back using the force. He did not budge though, for their powers were now almost equal. Kylo was lightly amused by Rey's attempts to play coy. It was a change from her direct approach when they were in that cave or even in the elevator. He could never forget that, even if he tried. She looked so...picturesque, so perfect. He was so tempted to push her against the wall and kiss her, claim her as his. Ever since their eyes first met, he wanted her by his side. Kylo nudged her chair with his leg, making it turn so Rey had to face him. He put his hands on the arms of it, making it difficult for her to move or run away.

 _ **"Why do you hate me? We work well together, we should be together."**_

Nothing. Rey stared him down trying not to glare. She didn't want to push him away but she couldn't accept him. He leaned in closer coming inches away from her face. He couldn't help but let out a laugh, looking away from her for a moment. Was he mocking her?

 _ **"It's almost funny, I'm usually the quiet one."**_

 _ **"Like hell. You are a no good, dark side, back stabber. You just killed Snoke because you wanted to be Supreme Leader. You used me."**_

 _ **"I never asked you to come. You did that on your own. You saw something as did I. What did you see that gave you so much hope?"**_

 _ **"I don't have to tell you. I saw enough to try and hope you would turn."**_

 _ **"I did as well. I thought you would leave by my side. We could have had the whole galaxy at our fingertips. We could have ruled it together."**_

 _ **"I will not rule anything with the likes of you. A traitor."**_

 _ **"If I am a traitor then you are a rogue Jedi. You left your master to seek out someone on a whim. A true jedi does not make deep bonds for they become the death of you. That's what Luke told me, did he tell you that?**_

Rey turned away from him, trying to block him out. This was becoming longer then expected and she wanted this bond to end. Kylo moved his hand and lightly moved some hair that had fallen out of place. She froze as she felt his leather covered hands brush against her ear and linger on her jaw line. A part of her wanted to stay there and try to reason with him while another screamed to choke him out.

 _ **"What if I told you I didn't want to be Supreme Leader? That I hate this new title. Especially if it means what I have to do to you and the rest of the resistance."**_

 _ **"What? What are you-"**_

She turned to look at him and came centimeters away from him. Kylo had come close to talk in her ear but wasn't expecting her to look his way. He was close enough to her to see dark spots on her cheeks and nose, little freckles that had formed on Jakku from the sun exposure. Rey could feel his breath on her face and his hair almost touched her, hanging down by the sides of his face. Their noses almost touched as neither of them dared to move. The tension was so great that moving seemed impossible. They were both wound up so tight that a single movement would break this moment.

 _ **"Rey,"**_ Kylo softly said trying to stay as still as possible.

 _ **"Ben. I-I,"**_ Rey began to say but her words got caught in her throat.

A bang echoed between them. There was a cry and a grumble from Chewie, asking if Rey was okay. Kylo could hear one of the generals asking for permission to come inside to discuss the plans of attack. When they both looked back the bond had broken. They were now alone in their respective ships. The illusion was gone, they were all alone.


	2. Needs

Days had passed since the escape from Crait. Even with this time, there was still no real plan. All eyes were on Rey and she had no idea where to turn. She stared into the endless array of stars, trying to think of their next move. This was not the only thing that occupied her mind. The idea of kylo popping up at any given time threatened her. She wouldn't speak about any plans out of fear he would be there. He could find them that much easier and be three steps ahead without anyone knowing why. But the idea of him appearing to her wasn't completely horrible. A part of Rey almost waited for him, wanting him to appear before her. Just so she could see he was alive and well. Every so often she swore she felt a light breath on her neck or even a touch on her hand. Like someone grazing their hand over hers. She always looked but no one would be there. A prominent smell of leather and something else would linger though. It would pass like a ghost.

"Any new news on what our next move is?" Poe asked as he leaned in the doorway of the cockpit.  
"Not yet. I'm still trying to figure out where to go. The empire is searching for us everywhere," Rey said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.  
"Then...maybe we have to go to places they don't go. Somewhere even the resistance hasn't gone"  
"What are you suggesting exactly?"  
"I'm saying maybe we should go to the unknown regions. You know the empire doesn't touch that side of the galaxy because it's not relevant to them. Just scarce planets that don't have enough resources to become a threat. Maybe we can find one that is quiet and take cover for a little bit. Just so we can regroup and figure out what were going to do."

He had a point. They had to dodge the Empire too many times to count now and had enough close encounters already. The unknown regions would have been a great place to hide, but where? Where would they go when they got to those uncharted areas. It was unknown for a reason, they'd be going in blind. Then it clicked.

"I know where we can go."

* * *

"Supreme leader, we had a few sightings of the ship but...they were too quick and got away," a general reported.  
"...Very well. Keep searching. Find them and make sure there is no stragelers left. I want the resistance at my feet," Kylo spat.

The general quickly nodded and scurried away. There were so many close ecounters to the millennium falcon but they all came up empty handed. Kylo became more and more infuriated at every negative report. Sleep was secondary now and his main focus became the resistance. Not just the resistance, Rey. He just needed a little bit more time with her. Just a minute of them together in person and he just knew he could sway her. The future he saw was crystal clear and he knew she would be by his side. But it was unclear if it would be as a part of the dark side or the light. The idea of turning to the light was blasphemous in the beginning. But now, a part of him began to reason with it. Maybe things would be different if he was on the other side. What would it be like? What would be different? Would he be with Rey?

"Supreme leader, we need your approval on the knights of ren. They have been training nonestop since the unfotunate demise of Supreme leader snoke and look for your approval," a general reported. "I've already put all the information in this data pad."  
"Yes, I will review them in my quarters."

Kylo walked past the general taking the pad with him. He swiftly returned to his room and almost let out a sigh of relief. He rolled his shoulders and threw his cape to the side. Being the supreme leader now meant he had to set an example. He had to be stoic and still all day. The only time he could relax was in his quarters. As he un buckled his weapons belt he swore he could hear faint whispers. He stopped and listened closely, trying to make out the subtle voices. Kylo turned around and saw Rey standing there in his room. Her back was to him and it was obvious she was speaking to someone that he couldn't see. By the way she was acting, she didn't realize he was there. He laid his belt down on his bed before quietly going up behind her. They were inches apart and she didn't sense him, or maybe she was acting like she didnt sense him. He could hear bits and pieces of the conversation but it was muffeled still. Maybe it was because Rey wasn't talking to him or maybe it was because she was blocking him out. Her hair was out of her usual bun and rested on her shoulders. Kylo tilted his head to the side curiously, reaching out to her. He gently touched it, holding a piece in his hand. A part of him wished he could take off his glove and feel it with his hand. Was it silky and smooth, or maybe rough and brittle

Rey jumped as she felt something touch her hair. She could feel something move it, almost holding it. Poe could see her skin crawl and he raised an eyebrow. "You okay?" he asked  
"P-perfect. Now if you could excuse me, I'm going to get some rest. Thank you for helping me."

She quickly turned and closed the door to the cockpit. Rey came centimeters away from Kylo, close enough to see his chest rise and fall. _**"How long have you been there,"**_ she asked more startled than mad.  
 _ **"Long enough. And just so you know I couldn't make out what you were saying so whatever you were speaking about is unknown to me."**_  
Kylo looked down to Rey and could see her struggling not to make any contact with him. He was close, almost too close. She began to wiggle her way to the side to go past him but he put his arm up to block her only ways of escapeing. Rey could feel her heart beat in her throat as kylo blocked her in, just looking at her. Even now she couldn't read him to know what he was thinking.  
 _ **"Why do you fear me?"**_ he asked softly as he leaned down to be more eye level with her.  
 _ **"I do not fear you. I despise you,"**_ she said trying to sound as menacing as she could. But, to Kylo it was almost amusing, like a hissing kitten.  
 _ **"I can feel it. So afraid, yet i should be the one who should be scared. You shot first."  
**_

Kylo's eyes peered into hers, trying to figure out what she was thinkig. Rey did the same and couldn't help but stare at the scar on his face. She did that, she wounded him with just a flick of her wrist. Kylo moved one of his hands away from the wall and brought it up to his neck. He got a hold of the zipper on his shirt and pulled it down far enough to expose most of his chest. Rey eyed him carefully as he moved his shirt off one of his shoulders exposing a nasty scar.  
 _ **"You did this to me. In the forest. You beat me and scard my body. Yet, you shake in fear wondering what I am scheming. And here I am, wondering why you let me live."  
"We were seperated. The planet-"  
"Not in the forest. In the throne room, you had every cance to kill me. It would have been easy. You could have used my saber. It ironically fits you. You held it with such courage and pride. You would have been a magnificent ally. One that I would be proud to stand by, maybe even follow."  
"You can still follow me, Ben. Please."  
"It is far too late for me, don't you think? I'm supreme leader now. I am now beyond the point of return. Or maybe i reached that point when I killed Han Solo."**_

The pain of that day struck the both of them. Rey's stomach twisted in knots as sorrow washed over her. Kylo felt a pit form in his throat, like he swallwed too much and now struggled to get it down. The guilt was still on Kylo's shoulders as the sorrow of losing somone who was like a father crushed Rey. They were both broken in their own way. Rey tried to look away from Kylo, too upset or even angry to even look at him. He leaned farther, going right next to her ear. _**"I've always wanted someone like you."**_

She looked to him quickly, almost too quickly. He had his arm leaning aganst the wall and used the other to caress her cheek. He was so close, too close. She could feel his breath on her face as his chest leaned against hers. His heart was slamming against his ribs as was hers. Rey tried to push him away, not knowing what to do in this situation, but Kylo's grip was like steel. He could feel their nose touch and he was so close to touching her lips. They barely grazed each other before Rey fell backwards.

Rey fell straight to her back as Kylo stumbled forward. Finn had opened the door to the cockpit to check on Rey, not expecting her to fall out of it. She didn't even realize what happened until Finn waved his hand over her eyes. "Rey? Are you okay? Rey?!" he said trying to get her eyes to focus on him.  
"Wha...what happened?" she said sitting up and looking around. Kylo was no longer there and now it was just her and Finn.  
"I don't know. I went to check on you and you just fell out. You hit your head pretty hard."  
He helped her stand and noticed her face was unusually red. "You should watch your health. You may be getting a fever, your face is red."  
Rey could feel her face get even hotter as Finn noticed her obvious blush. She waved him off and assured him she was fine. He seemed to trust her word and let her be, but in tuth she was anything but fine. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding and she felt like she was in a fever like state. Her head was on fire and she just wanted to have someone there. Someone to hold her and get as close as Kylo did to her. These feelings should disgust her but all she could think of was him and remember how close he was. . What did he do to her?

Kylo caught his balance as he fell, just missing the floor. He leaned against the wall with one hand, the other was over his mouth. He couldn't believe how close he was yet how far. His heart pulsed as did something else. He couldn't help but graze his hand over his groin, lightly wincing at the very touch. It had never been like this before, never this bad. Thoughts of what could happen or what he wanted to happen rushed through his mind and he felt himself pule through the fabric of his pants. His mind was in a fever of deire and he wanted to have Rey underneath him. To look at him with clouded eyes and desireing him. The pressure was undeniable and he needed a release. He needed Rey.


End file.
